I am very disheartened to announce my formal resignation from my position as The Minstrel’s editor-in-chief.
It has come to my attention that the recent scandal our ne paper was involved in cannot be overlooked, and responsibility for it falls directly on my shoulders. The fact is, when you are told to register your organization with CollegiateLink, it doesn’t matter that you’re a senior who doesn’t want to bother learning a website you’ll only need for about two months. It doesn’t matter that The Minstrel’s budget doesn’t come from the Student Government Association. We were threatened with a complete suspension from publishing if I did not step down for this offense, so I did what was best for my beloved staff and our paper.
I was told by the powers-that-be that this was my final straw, in light of the other scandals that have hit us throughout the year. Those include the littering charges we incurred for leaving copies of The Minstrel on DUC tables between meals; the tweeting of an incorrect baseball score that we embarrassingly left up on our Twitter account for a full 15 minutes; and, of course, our theft of a mysterious bicycle that kept getting stored in our office without explanation.
Again, I take full responsibility for all of these transgressions. I take solace in being able to tell you that Nick Luchko will assume my editor-in-chief duties for the long-term future.
Nah, not really, though! My real farewell is in our nal issue of the year, April 28. On behalf of my talented staff of writers, editors and Photoshoppers, I hope you enjoyed our April Fools’ issue from the front cover to the back page!
Until next time, DeSales,
Did we fool you? If you are still unaware, this article is purely fictional and was written to for our annual April Fools issue.